Sayonara
by HoshisamaValmor
Summary: Alois wonders why he still fears death after everything that happened to him. Spoilers for episode 8.


"Sayonara" means "Goodbye in Japanese.

Contains spoilers for episode 8 of Kuroshitsuij II.

**DISCLAIMER: **I, HoshisamaValmor, don't own Kuroshitsuji.

* * *

Why?

Who had he left after all? Everyone was dead. That was what he once wished for, right? And it cost him more than he could have ever thought it would.

Why?

First their parents. Then the villagers he had hated so much. And then Luca. Even the old perverted man was dead. There was no one else left. Not for him to hate, nor for him to love. Everyone was dead. He was alone.

So, why?

Why did Alois still feared death?

It scared him as much as when he was left alone, after Luca died. It scared him even more. So much. So he begged to Ciel to spare him. He didn't want to die, he feared death too much.

There was Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive. But somehow, Alois didn't count him as one person he would have left to hate, now that he was beneath that immense and ancient tree, feeding its roots with his hot blood while the female demon fought the redhaired Shinigami that had come to take him.

Ciel couldn't count as one to hold him to life. Alois was tired of living by only hating. But that had been how he always lived, had it not? If he was tired of hating, then he was tired of living.

He wanted to make Ciel suffer beyond death because his demon killed Luca. He hated Ciel.

And Luca had been the last person he had cared for, right? And he was gone. There was no one left to love.

Death seemed peaceful sometimes, however. So right. After all, living was what brought suffering. Death ought to finally be the release from pain. Was a starving wolf, attracted by the scent of blood, the one to bring him his death, his peace, his release from pain at last? Brought from those sharp teeth? How could such a thing be peaceful?

He didn't want to die. He just didn't. Still, there was the question, _why_?

But there was something else.

Claude.

Claude was there.

That's right. That's it. There _was_ something. There was Claude. Claude was what remained in his life. A demon who wanted his soul. But still, he was there. He killed the wolf. He had helped him before, he could help again. He was why Alois still feared death. He had not lost everything just yet.

And he said it. Either by the wish to share the truth with someone else other than himself or by the need to hear it said out loud and make it definitive, to build the ultimate tie with life and step away from death.

"You are... You yourself are... My Higness!"

Alois was kneeling against Claude's leg, like he had been to Ciel's. But even if manipulated by demons, Ciel was not one. He did not disguise his intentions. Unlike Claude

The spider butler kneeled too in front of his master and took the blond child's face in his gloved hands softly, drying one tear away from that pale and imaculate skin that covered his scattered and stained soul.

Death seemed far at last, after two days in a row when its terrifing shadow peeked and stabbed Alois. He even smiled to Claude's own smile, a soft and innocent smile as if the old Jim McCain with a family still existed. As if no one had died, as if Luca hadn't been dead in his arms, as if Alois had never been sold to the Trancy Lord and been stolen from the remaining innocence he might have had left.

And then, there was only blood and pain again. The crunch sound was more terrible than anything he could stand. For the fragments of seconds it lasted, he could not even tell where the pain came from, only that he was seeing blood where Claude had been smiling before and that there was more blood falling onto his knees.

_Why? Was he dead? Please, wh-_

Claude let go of Alois and his dead weight fell to the side over the blood-soaked grass with a soft sound, softer than what a deda body would make.

After all, someone who had such a grudge to everyone and seeked revenge but could nevertheless show feelings for a mere butler was no someone whose soul would satisfy Claude.

**おわり**

* * *

**Author's Note:** Alois is the latest character with whom I relate to. I needed to write something for him, he's too tragic and "Kagayaku Sora no Shijima ni wa" by Kalafina relate too much to my situation for me to stand it.

Thanks for reading, leave a review if you please.


End file.
